Buy a Poken.

How's that for subtlety?

Look, this is a serious matter that deserves serious consideration - especially among users of social networks (and the last I heard was that more than half of the U.S. is on social networking sites, so there). Do you know how many millions of people are out there right now coughing into one armpit as they struggle with the other arm to write a legible URL on the damp napkin of a new acquaintance?

Consider this: Up to 99% of 18-24-year-olds have an active social networking profile. Next to pregnant women and infants, co-eds are the ones who are in the perfect spot to spread the H1N1 virus. Imagine all the tiny bacterial crud on the keyboards of community computers at college libraries across the city. And they're all using 'em for one thing - to update their Facebook status.

Almost half of the 150 million people actively using Facebook log on every day.

Meanwhile LinkedIn gets nearly eight million unique monthly visitors and adds about one member every second.

And Twitter is seeing a growth rate of 700% (yes, you read that correctly) over a year ago, and much of that is right here. One report from June 2009 ranked Chicago as the #3 most popular city on Twitter behind London and Los Angeles.

So what does all this mean as we enter the dark days of winter and the eye of the H1N1 storm?

Considering that so far Illinois has reported 22 deaths related to H1N1 - more than all H1N1 deaths in Indiana and Wisconsin combined - we need to seriously reconsider the way we share our social networking profiles.

If everyone had a Poken - the 150 million Facebook users, eight million monthly LinkedIn visitors & the countless Twitterer-er-ers - we could dramatically reduce the cases of H1N1 in this great city of ours.

There'd be no more handshaking, no more borrowing of pens to scribble URLs and user names. And those of you who still sneeze directly into your palms (you know who you are) would no longer be subjected to patronizing glares from the concerned masses. You'd be able to keep those snot-ridden paws to yourselves, thank you very much.

It would all be resolved with a high-four, Poken-style. Absolutely no physical contact with another human being whatsoever. Wouldn't that be nice?

So in light of the good you can do for the health of our city, consider a Poken. It could be the one thing that separates you from the E.R.